Navigating Self through Compassion

How do we stop judging and evaluating ourselves on a daily basis? 

For thousands of years many of our ancestors practiced self-compassion. We so often hear and even practice compassion for others but often ignore compassion for self. 

Surprisingly and sadly, research has discovered that people who rank high in offering compassion to others often rank low in self-compassion. By continually self-judging and self-criticizing while trying to be helpful and kind to others, we create the opposite of inter-connectedness, oneness and universal love. This may lead to the feeling of isolation and separation. 

Compassion requires the ability to notice or recognize suffering in someone else followed by a feeling of kindness, tenderness and desire to support the person suffering and at last recognizing our shared human experience--our common humanity. Finally, self-compassion requires the same mindful qualities of compassion but directed to self. 

We begin to practice and reinforce our ability to bring awareness to our own suffering. Instead of overlooking our suffering, we start to acknowledge that we are suffering, without judgment, blame or criticism. 

From here we can offer ourselves kindness, awareness, warmth and supportive care along with our inner-knowing that no person is perfect—we all face imperfection as part of the human condition. 

One practice suggested by researcher and teacher, Kristin Neff, is to develop your own self- compassion mantra which covers each quality of compassion such as, “Suffering is part of life, everyone feels this way sometimes and this is part of being human.” 

By cultivating a practice of self-compassion we offer ourselves and others overall well-being, presence, mindfulness, inter-connection with all beings and the power to transform states of mind that are not in alignment with our purpose in any particular moment. 

--- Written by Shannon Valle, Yoga Instructor at Ayuh Yoga. She teaches Hatha on W/F @ 9-10am and Sunday 10:30-11:45am, Gentle/Yin on T/Th @ 6:30-7:30pm, and Kids on Wed at 4:15-4:55pm and Sunday at 12-12:45pm.